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the best choice. You and Spike are rocky, you haven t been together long enough to deal with
something like that, even if there s only a small chance. You have to think about what you want
more.
It s him, I whisper. It s always been him.
Then we ll go for a drive, yeah?
I nod, swallowing.
Come here, she says, pulling me into her arms. We hug for a long moment, before she pulls back
and wipes my face with a tissue she pulls from her purse.
Thank you, Addi.
Anytime, honey. Come on, we ll say we re hungry. That ll work.
It s already well into the night, so I m sure that won t work that well, but it s worth a shot. I
swipe my eyes again, and we walk back out to join the guys. I avoid staring at Spike as Addi speaks,
but I can feel his eyes on me.
Hey, we re going to get something to eat, let you guys talk.
You just ate, babe, Cade points out.
Well, Ciara is hungry, so I ll just get a coffee.
You never said you were hungry, Spike says, his voice hard.
I...um...I just got hungry.
A word, Ciara? he says, gripping my arm and pulling me out of everyone else s hearing range.
When we stop, he turns to me. What the fuck is goin on?
I cross my arms, staring at my shoes. Nothing, we re just going to get something to eat.
Look at me.
Spike, can we not do this now because...
Look at me, now, he growls.
I lift my head, and do as he says. His eyes flash with emotion, and he narrows them, confused.
You ve been cryin ? Why? Did I hurt you?
No, I m fine.
You re fuckin lyin to me! he snarls.
I am not! I cry, crossing my arms.
Is this cause I said I didn t want kids, cause fuck, Ciara...I was only bein honest.
I spit it, yep, like a great big child. It s got nothing to do with that! It s got everything to do with
the fact that I m not on protection. I lied, Spike. I lied when I said I was. I m not, and you fucked me
without being careful. Then you proceeded to tell me you never want kids. So I m going to the fuckin
pharmacy to get a pill to make sure I m not. Got it?
I spin around and storm off before he can stop me. He bellows my name, but I don t stop. I get to
Addi, grip her arm and pull her towards the road.
Ciara! Spike yells, running after me, his heavy boots pounding on the pavement.
Come on, I say, tugging Addi harder.
We get onto the street, and wave down a cab. Luckily for us, one stops. We both climb in and
close the doors. The cab just pulls out as Spike steps out of the hotel grounds. He s cursing loudly; I
can see his lips moving, as he drives his fist into a nearby tree. I close my eyes and turn them away.
Addi stares at him, confused, and then looks at me. What happened?
He got up me, I lost it and told him what we re doing.
Addi turns and looks at him again before we disappear around the street. He doesn t look happy
about it.
He s just pissed off because I lied to him.
Are you sure about that, honey?
I swallow. God, what if I m wrong? I shake my head. God, no...
Maybe we should stop...
No, it s okay. It s for the best, regardless. Like you said, we re not ready for something like that.
It wouldn t end well.
Are you sure?
I nod, feeling my knees wobble. We round another corner, and Addi turns and stares out the
window. Shit.
I turn, and see Spike coming up behind us at a rapid speed on his bike. Shit. I turn to Addi, eyes
wide. What is he doing?
I guess he doesn t want you to go and get that pill.
Far out, what do I do?
I don t know, she says, her eyes wide. Pull over?
Spike pulls up alongside of the cab, and pulls out a gun. The cabbie screeches and skids to an
abrupt stop, causing both Addi and I to fall forward in our seats. Thank god for seatbelts.
Spike leaps off his bike, drops it on its stand, opens the door, unbuckles my seat belt and hauls me
out and onto the street. People honk their horns and skid around us. I gasp and squirm, but Spike s
grip is unmovable. Addi sits in the back of the cab, eyes wide, and the driver is praying, yes, praying.
You, Spike growls to the driver. Take her back where you came from.
He nods frantically, and the car surges forward. Addi leans out the window and yells, Sorry
honey!
Spike shoves me toward his bike and growls, Fuckin get on, now!
I do. I don t dare argue.
I get on the back and pull the helmet on quickly. He jumps on the front and takes off so fast I
scream. He zips in and out of cars angrily, and I can see the knuckles on his right hand are bleeding.
My heart pounds, and I hold on for dear life. He s riding like a maniac.
He skids to a stop at a small beach, and gets off the bike. I follow, with wobbling legs. He storms
down onto the sand, his body rigid. I hesitantly walk down after him, not knowing what sort of
reaction he s going to have. He spins when I stop behind him, and I can see he s panting.
You might have my fuckin baby inside you, and you were goin to fuckin kill it?
I gasp. What? No!
Yes, you fuckin were.
I... God what can I say? I thought, you said you never wanted...
I don t! he bellows. I d never go outta my way to have a baby, but fuck, do you think I m such
a cunt that I wouldn t be there for someone if I knocked them up? Fuck, Ciara, you give me no credit.
I d never fuckin leave you alone, not ever.
I start to cry. I wrap my arms around my belly, and look at the sand. You said you didn t want
kids, it s a pain you couldn t feel again. I freaked out; I didn t know what to do. It was the only thing I
could think of, that would save us both the pain. I didn t want to lose you and...
You read me wrong, he interrupts. I know what I said, and I meant it. If I had a choice, I
wouldn t have kids because it fuckin burns to lose them, but this ain t a choice and therefore it can t
be changed. If you were pregnant by accident, then I would never leave you alone. I d always be
there. I m not a fuckin asshole, Ciara. I might not want it right now, but fuck, I d make sure it had the
best life ever. You have to understand that.
I look up at him, and hot tears flood my cheeks. I didn t want to hurt you.
It was my fuckin fault, too. I didn t ask until after I fuckin came inside you, numerous times. It
wasn t on you, and it shouldn t be left on you. I don t like that you fuckin lied to me when I asked, but
I know why you did it. There ain t no pill gettin taken. There ain t no way in shit I am willingly
killing a child that may be inside you. Fuck, no, Ciara.
I m sorry. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]