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Weren t you supposed to be leaving?
I was, Sean said, his voice low and deep. But then I changed my mind.
No, he couldn t mean that. She didn t want him to mean that. Because then hope
would wiggle through the cracks in her armor, would make a home for itself inside her.
And she couldn t bear that. It was easier to keep not feeling a thing.
Why? she asked, gripping her briefcase tightly. You made your choice pretty clear
last night.
Sean didn t move, his big body utterly still, his dark eyes fixed on her. Yeah, and I
was wrong.
Oh? What about?
About everything. I ve been angry for a long time, Abby. Angry at all the people who
were supposed to care about me and didn t. Mom. My dad. My stepmom. But, I think
you were right. Anger was only ever a way to cover up the fact that I m shit-scared. He
paused, took a breath. I m scared there s something bad inside me. Something that
makes me not worth caring about. And that s why I walked away last night. Because,
shit, I can handle not being wanted by my damn brothers. But I can t take it from you.
He stopped again, ran his hand through his already spiky hair. I m still scared, Abby.
I m scared that I ll fuck up, that I ll hurt you, fail you. I m scared you ll eventually see
what a complete fucking loser I really am. But & I guess what I m trying to say is that I
want to try. I want to try not to fuck up. I want to try to fix things like you said. And I
want to do that with you.
Abby s throat closed up. She struggled to keep her usual calm but it seemed to have
vanished. Sean & This time it was her who couldn t speak.
He leaned forward suddenly. I m sick of running away. I m sick of being a coward.
I m sick of being scared all the damn time that I m not good enough. That I ll disappoint
people. That in the end, all I ll ever be is that stupid little kid that no one wanted.
No, she said hoarsely, somehow finding the breath to speak. I wanted you. I always
wanted you.
Something flared in his gaze. He reached for her hands on top of her briefcase,
covering them. His warmth flooding through her, up her arms and into her soul. And I
always wanted you, too. I know I told you I never felt that way about you but I lied.
I ve been lying to myself for years. I loved you the moment I saw you and I haven t
stopped loving you. I just & Christ, no one ever taught me what love was until you
came along.
She hadn t meant to cry again but there were tears in her eyes all the same. She
looked down at his hands over hers, big and strong. Sheltering her, protecting her.
And she realized all of a sudden that no matter what she d tried to tell herself, she
hadn t moved on. That she was still that vulnerable little girl whom her father hurt.
Whom her mother ignored. Whom Sean had left. She realized that no amount of sex and
pain would make her stronger.
The only thing that would was the truth that had been in her heart all these years and
was sitting there still. Love didn t hurt you. It made you strong. He made her strong.
She swallowed. I m scared, too, Sean. I m scared I m & not enough for you. That I m
not important.
Abby, no
I ve never been important to anyone. She looked up at him, met his gaze. Not my
dad, not my mom. No one except you. And then & you left. Like you had a choice
between me and the club, and your choice wasn t me.
Sean looked at her for a long moment. Then he suddenly pulled the briefcase away
from her and tugged her across the space between them and into his arms. She didn t
protest, didn t try to get away. She d been hiding from her feelings, from herself, for too
long and she couldn t do it anymore.
Instead she buried her face in his neck as his arms came around her, holding her in his
lap so tightly it was like he was afraid she d get away.
You were important, he murmured. Too important. And I told myself I had to go
because I wasn t good enough for you. But & that was an excuse. I was scared. And
Christ, I m still scared. But, I m not running, Abby. Not anymore. My choice is you and I
want to stay here with you for as long as you want me. If you still want me, that is.
I do, she said hoarsely into his shirt. God, I want you so much.
His arms tightened. I have to stay now, even if you didn t.
A strange note in his voice made her look up. What do you mean you have to?
His mouth, always so stern, turned up in a wistful kind of smile that made her heart
contract. I sold the Harley.
You what?
I took it to a dealer just before I came here. I wanted to prove to you how serious I
was about staying.
Abby picked up a section of his T-shirt and used it to wipe her eyes. You idiot. I
didn t need you to do that for me. You don t have to prove anything.
His smile faded, his dark eyes intense. Then what can I do to make you believe me?
Her throat closed. Just & tell me you love me, Sean. That s all I need.
I love you, Abigail Prescott. And I m never leaving you again. Then his mouth came
down over hers, the kiss melting away the cold places in her heart, the pain and the
anger. The past.
He lifted his head, looked down into her face. What about you? I need to hear it,
Abby.
She touched his cheek, traced the line of his cheekbone, the scar over his eyebrow, her
heart swelling up and pressing against her ribs. A sweet ache this time, a welcome kind
of pain. I love you, Sean Morrow. And if you do ever leave again, I ll hunt you down
and shoot you with a rifle.
He smiled. That sounds horribly specific.
Hey, it s the only thing I know how to shoot. Besides, you re not the only one who
gets to enforce the rules. And no leaving is now a rule.
Is that the only one?
No, I ve got one more. She smoothed his T-shirt, loving the feel of the hard warmth [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]